Sample 2

An average-looking man stood in the center of the room. He waved his average-looking hands and nodded his average-looking head, before giving an absolutely average analysis of the situation. The room was the Cabinet’s meeting room, and the man was Prime Minister Benjamin Selterra.

All twenty-two Ministers set around a long table, drinking orange juice, eating butter cookies and listening raptly to the Prime Minister’s briefing.

The Minister of Education sent an appraised look at the man standing in front of him; as if it weren’t enough that the Prime Minister was average to the point of perfection, he also played in a band.

“That’s just the way it is, you know…,” said the Prime Minister with gravity, “People… well hm… are people!”

The Minister of Education nodded enthusiastically. He understood what the Prime Minister meant.

“Anyway, it’s up to us to appease the nation,” continued the Prime Minister reflectively, “Don’t forget, we set sail because we were tired of all the fighting to begin with.”

The group of Ministers agreed unanimously.

The Appeasement Address

And so, several decades after a certain bearded man standing on a balcony overlooking the city of Basel made Israeli history, the Prime Minister left to prepare an emotional speech to his nation.

An entire country, several continents, and an Italian fisherman who’d had to throw out a fat fish to evade the floating island that almost anchored right on top of him, all waited to hear the Prime Minister’s speech.

Joel sat in the living room, gently stroking Tazman’s head. The last rays of sunlight were filtering in through the window and Tazman lay quietly, gazing at the screen, enjoying the cozy atmosphere that had fallen over the household.

A familiar face flashed on the screen.

The Prime Minister was calmly gathering himself on the wooden stage. He looked over to camera number four that was located at an especially good angle.

“Dear nation, good evening,” He smiled lovingly at the camera. “I’d like to start off by asking for your forgiveness. We took you along on an adventure without giving you a heads-up. As you know, that is not our usual way of doing things. You must understand, dear citizens, that this historic change to which you stand witness, though having occurred overnight, was well prepared. We all cccssshhh… ccsshh… one? One, Two. Can you hear me? No? And now? One… Which button should I press?”

Unfortunately, and disappointing for all, the Prime Minister could not conclude his broadcast. Second hand equipment; That’s what you get for buying cheap.